Badass Is The New Black (Season 4) Episode #12- How to be a Coach Without Having All The AnswersMay 04, 2022
This week is Part 2 with Ashley Gordon, Quantum Coach and Manifestation expert. We are talking about what it means to really coach someone. Do you need to have all the answers and be perfect before you can coach someone else? Ashley breaks down her unique coaching method and shares some awesome insights with us.
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How to be a Coach Without Having All The Answers
We're going to talk about what it's like to be a coach. Even those who don't identify as coaches are actually coaches. I talk to my network marketers all the time in the health space and I tell them “you're a health coach and you're a business coach.” Whether you see yourself as that or not, you are when you're working with your customers to help them see what health products they need. When you're working with those who are pursuing this business opportunity, you're a business coach, and this is really true to all of us entrepreneurs. If you are here to teach someone then you’re a coach, even if you call yourself a consultant or whatever.
What Does It Mean To Be A Coach
“So coaching to me means leading with your energy.”
Ashley describes coaching as leading someone with your energy, partnering with them and pulling out greatness in them and being masterful at your craft by asking really powerful questions which leads others to their own discoveries. Coaching is not about giving advice or mentorship, it’s not consulting, those are all great things but they are different. It’s also not friendship, because our friends have opinions for us and advice and that isn’t how coaching should be.
“It’s very much helping people master their own energy and helping them identify and discover what is within them and pulling it out.”
When you’re a consultant, someone has hired you to give them advice and tell them what to do. I remember the first time I hired a coach and they kept asking me questions and I realized I was coming up with all the answers and solutions myself. I realized that this is how it has to be because you’re more likely to take action.
“A real coach accepts that the client is the expert at their life.”
I love how Ashley explains this. Coaching in this way takes a lot of pressure off of you as a coach because you don’t have to fix anybody. We need to stop trying to fix people on our teams, our clients, our spouse or our kids. Instead we need to ask questions. Ashley says you can call yourself a coach professional when “you’re ready to hold space for someone and not make it about you and really make it about them and their experience and their journey.” You can also be a coach without labeling yourself as a coach. If you’re an entrepreneur on any level, you’re a leader and leaders help guide people.
“Ultimately a coach moves someone forward but it’s not their job, it’s up to the person to want to move forward.”
Ashley compared it to her time in real estate. “I was just asking really good questions, what they like and what they don’t like, what they see for themselves, what they imagined. There’s lots of parallels, it’s the same with a product.” If you ask good questions you can get to the root of a problem, the limiting belief or whatever is blocking them. Then your product or service is the solution and they come to realize this on their own and take action.
I think it’s really important to make this distinction between coaching and consulting. We are helping someone find their own solutions because how you built your business might not work for someone else. It’s important that they find their own path and find their own prices and way of doing things in their business.
Ashley’s number one way for standing out as a coach is to master your craft. “I am always committed to being a master of my craft.” If she is a coach, she is going to be the best coach and bring amazing transformations. Ashley even created a coaching certification program and her own method of coaching.
The Quantum Coaching Method
Ashley showed us a bullseye and at the center is your energy. “It’s you being the master of your energy. As a coach, the number one most important thing is being the master of your energy.”
1. Protect your energy in the morning, when you wake up, figure out a way to clear out old, stuck energy. It’s a simple intention. Be the best version of yourself every day. Fill your cup.
2. Next is creating synergy, partnership, and alignment to co-create the coaching relationship. When you’re coming into a new relationship everyone is going to be at a different energetic frequency, at a different level. So as the leader, you have to show up in your highest vibe, being grounded and establishing rapport and trust with your client.
I asked Ashley if she ever calls her clients out on stuff. She said yes, that’s how a coach is different from a friend. A friend lets you get away with it, but a coach will call you out, however in order to do that you need a strong rapport and trust. So you need to be in synergy with them, and that higher vibrational energy will always win. We bring people up because 93% of communication happens without words so mastering your energy is going to elevate the people around you.
3. The next level is engagement. Engagement is all about listening, truly engaging and hearing your clients. It is objective listening, not inserting your own opinion or listening from a past story you have or assuming that you have the answer. It is powerfully holding space so you can ask really good questions.
4. Next is equanimity. So once you are in synergy with your client, you have rapport, you’re listening, you need to meet them where they are. In order to meet your client where they are, you have to cultivate really powerful inquiry. You have to ask powerful questions and implement techniques to move them forward.
5. The completion of the bullseye is encompass. This is holding the entire space together. You hold them accountable and give feedback. You’re celebrating with them, you’re championing them. You are holding the relationship from start to finish and holding the session from start to finish.
Trusting The Process
So how do we trust the process of transformation in a coaching relationship? Ashley says that number one most important is working from miracle consciousness. The consciousness is what you’re aware of. So the miracle consciousness is coming from a place of “miracles are possible” for a client. You as the coach have to hold space for them and see that anything is possible no matter how many limitations they have on themselves.
Next is holding your client to the highest vision of themselves. Asking them what is their highest vision of themselves and then trusting as the coach that they’re going to fulfill that for themselves. It’s not your responsibility to fulfill that for them.
“It’s such a relief to know that as the coach you don’t have the ability to transform your client, that is their job.”
The last step is to make sure you are not attached to the outcome. Ashley says if she knows her success is inevitable then her client’s success is inevitable, but she isn’t attached to it. So if the client is not hitting the numbers they want or the results that they want, she knows they are still getting what they need at that moment. It’s all serving a purpose and that’s what it means to trust the process.
I hope you found this so encouraging and valuable. Ashley shared some amazing nuggets this week and I am so happy to finally be sharing this with you. Let me know in the comments what your big takeaways were.
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